When I took the pledge to become a Mom, I had no idea what my brain was about to be subjected to. Really, this is motherhood, no wonder I’ve avoided it like the plague for so long.
Our day begins with an abundance of screaming and sniping. It’s not enough to get the wranglers rolled out of their bunks and down the stairs for breakfast, but in addition, we have howling and barbarian battling. Yes, twins are such a blessing!
If Rocket Boy and Channel Chick aren’t fighting about the last piece of bacon like wild animals, they are screaming and hurling poisonous darts at one another. Then to top it off, ten minutes later, they are laughing it up like a couple of hyenas, while Mom is still reeling from the insanity. But to the wranglers, it’s just another day! Nothing out of the ordinary.
But wait, Summer break is about here and Mommies In Orbit needs to get a job! Anyone hiring?
The “experts” say, “Now you know, kids have to learn to sort it out and get along with one another in order to become happy adults.”
Mommy replies, “But there isn’t enough vodka in the U.S. to keep me sane while those two are growing up.”
Mommy also says, “Mr. Expert, just shut the hell up or I’ll stick this spatula where the sun doesn’t shine!”
So, where the hell are we now, nowhere! And nowhere is about to become a rude reality when the school bus doesn’t rescue me every morning. Summer break always frightens me, it’s like having a nightmare and waking up to one of Grandma’s dolls staring at you.
How do YOU get through Summer break?
|Ready, set, go!
|Mommy is so looking forward to Summer Break!